SHOCKING NEWS !!!!
attempted murder made on our beloved editor, morris mishegoss !!!!
8 spent gun shells on desk after attack
at precisely 8:07 am today, shortly after finishing his prescribed "eat me if you know what's good for you!"* breakfast diet regimen, an intruder made its way into our EH corporate headquarters, bypassing security personnel, and shot our beloved editor 8 times at point blank range, no more distance than John Wilkes Booth's performance. six shots entered our beloved's brain and two severed his spinal column. (L5 and L6 for the record, if you must know)
mishegoss is resting comfortably after surgery in a single private room at a Harvard teaching hospital and doctors are convinced he will be back at his desk in no time...."good as new most likely in a couple of days" says his chief sturgeon, Dr. Justin Nextogod MD & his very successful LLC
the perpetrator, immediately after the shots were fired, was swiftly attacked by a large geriatric rhodesian ridgeback which mistook him for a strange dog. The shooter is in custody & recuperating from his wounds & rabies, his room guarded by 2 large doberman pinchers at the Lahey Canine Clinic located in Springfield Ohio, where Haitian immigrants have stopped eating dogs and now dine on homemade rizzoto and gelato instead.
Heinrich(L) und Adolf (R) ferociously guarding the hospital room
Our African Ridgeback hero, Suki, doing her yoga exercises & resting after saving our editor's life
Live updates to follow
* available at your favorite bookstore
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the retirement vortex:
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who cares if it's AI generated....
hey you took my spot, MF!
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from Long Island NY: "i'm making coffee. anybody want coffee?"
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DXMejOBjjY6/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
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trump opens brutally honest fortune cookie at chinese state banquet
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Mark Zuckerberg – Dead At 36 – Says Social Media Sites Should Not Fact Check Posts
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg – who died of a drug overdose in his Californian home today – says it is not Facebook’s role to be the arbiter of truth for everything people post online.
The billionaire tech whiz, who was admitted to hospital on Sunday, said Facebook would stop fact-checking posts and that he loved dressing up in a gimp suit and playing with dolls. “In general, private companies probably shouldn’t be in the position of checking facts,” Zuckerberg – whose funeral will be held next week – said in an interview with Fox News.As tributes flowed in from across the world, Zuckerberg – who lists Adolf Hitler amongst his heroes – said people had a right to hear a range of views and that censorship was anti-democratic. He is survived by his eight children and three wives. Authorities say the incest charges against him will now be dropped.
from the Duck News Cable Channel
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