EH S5 E21: Oh Canada! [PLUS bonus special truck review]
An American International Airport Just Ran Out Of Jet Fuel. The Oil Crisis Isn't Coming. It’s Here And Landed In Buffalo Last Night.
One war of choice, one drained reserve, one torched alliance with Canada. Trump built the perfect shitstorm and Americans are about to freeze inside it.
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August 24, 2026
Last night around 10:30, the FAA issued a Notice to Airmen stating that Buffalo Niagara International Airport had no fuel. None. Planes could land, planes could leave if they had gas in the tank, but if you needed to fill up in Buffalo, you were out of luck. Airlines started telling pilots to carry enough fuel to get to Buffalo AND to their next stop, which is a thing you normally hear about airports in countries mid-collapse, not a five-million-passenger American hub an hour from Toronto.
Fasten your seat belts; it's going to be a bumpy ride or none at all. --- ed.
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AI (really machine learning) one hour of brilliant insight
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Ukraine Attacks Temu Warehouse ...resulting in total loss
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering takedown, on Monday Eric Trump called Lindsey Graham’s sister, Senator Darline Graham, “an unqualified idiot who only got her job through nepotism.”
“Are we going to give every blithering moron a position of power just because of who they’re related to?” he asked. “If so, this country is screwed.”
Arguing that he is “not alone” in his anti-nepotism crusade, Trump said, “Jared agrees with me.”
In his most withering rebuke of Senator Graham, he said, “The USA doesn’t need an incompetent nincompoop who knows nothing about foreign policy. We have Pete Hegseth.”
Toronto air quality plummets to 1990s bingo hall levels
TORONTO — Environment Canada has warned that wildfire smoke drifting from
Northwestern Ontario has reduced Toronto’s air quality to 1990s bingo hall levels.
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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Senator Susan Collins said on Monday that she is “deeply concerned” that voters in Maine might remember things she has done in office. “Maine voters are profoundly concerned about my record as their senator,” she said. “I want them to know that I’m concerned that they’re concerned.” “If, for example, they remember that I voted to confirm Brett Kavanaugh, which led to the overturning of Roe v. Wade—well, there’s only one word for how that would impact my reelection chances,” she said. “Concerning.” Collins said she hoped that, instead of focusing on her actions that are a cause for concern, voters would take into account her “entire career” in the Senate, stressing, “No one has furrowed her brow harder or wrung her hands more.” |
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UniversityUniversity student working menial summer job unaware it will be permanent job after graduation222222222222222222222222222222222  777777777777777777777777777777777 special exclusive ELDER HOSTILE On the Road Report We don't know about you, but lately on our highways we're seeing more and more all-black vehicles with after market heavily black tinted windows, and blacked out license plates to hide identification by law enforcement. Darth Vader would be proud. [The fact that they are in the left lane tailgating the car in front of them & well over the speed limit is of no consequence here in Massachusetts----we know that everyone does; with the exception of course Prius drivers who are hypermiling at 15 mph under the speed limit to get 3/4 of a mile further on a full tank of gas. alas, we digress.........] More often than not they are big, aggressive Ford F-150, 250 pickups, or oversized bloated SUVs. What does this tell us once we tickle our brain & hark back to the Sociology & Psychology 101 courses we took in college? Our young* male population is now living out the dream of american five year old boys in answering the question of "what do you want to be when you grow up?" and answering "a POLICEMAN!"  *young: defined as anyone younger than either of us AWD 4dr V-Series Escalade starting at $168,000  the quintessential american male wet dream:  Ford F-450 starting at $109,261 with special Testosterone Option Package (at additional $17,569) So, what to make of all this? What does it tell us of where where our culture is heading? What do you think? Let's hear from you, our subscribers! ``````````````````````````````````````````````````  new advert campaign from Cigna Healthcare  333333333333333333333333333333333
   special "who knew?" department Melania Trump Discovered To Be Russian Listening DevicePublished: WASHINGTON—In what is being described as a major breach of White House security protocol, the National Security Agency reportedly uncovered evidence Friday that first lady Melania Trump was a Russian listening device. “A sweep by intelligence officials has revealed that Mrs. Trump is in fact an espionage tool deployed by Russia to record President Trump while blending in seamlessly among his inner circle,” said NSA director Joshua Rudd, explaining that the surveillance apparatus disguised through the years as a Slovenian model and, later, the first lady was exposed only after sparks caused by improper wiring in her speaker were observed flying from her mouth. “The hidden microphone codenamed FLOTUS appears to have been used by the Kremlin to continually transmit audio data ever since being gifted to Donald Trump in 1998. We first suspected she might be part of a Russian monitoring effort due to the antennae protruding from her head and occasional disrupted speech patterns that sounded like interference from Moscow radio stations.” Rudd added that they were still trying to determine what the Russians intended to do with the 5,000 hours of voice recordings of an American president berating his wife to lose weight. ****************************** $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ remember this! if you're not insulted, we're not doing our job you know we lie to you better than anyone else! EH is the best place to get your news because we take some truth, throw in a healthy dose of lies....... VOILA! it's much more fun to read +++++++++ do you want to know how the story ends? we do and we know! admit it, haven't we been spot on so far? stay withELDER HOSTILEto find out*********** to subjugate, submarine, subsume, subsist, sublimate, subtract or subscribe, just send an email to: you may unsubscribe at any time & must agree to our terms that if the big one drops, your subscription will get canceled automatically and no refunds will be issued Remember our famous PWT motto by which we operate 24/7: "Most people are stupid!" morris mishegoss, your faithful editor at ELDER HOSTILE  |
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