ELDER HOSTILE

  Israel Agrees To Go Back To Killing Palestinians On Less Frequent Basis Published: October 9, 2025 CAIRO—As part of a historic ceasefire agreement with Hamas following two years of war, the Israeli government reportedly agreed Thursday to go back to killing Palestinians on a less frequent basis. “In line with the terms of the deal, Hamas will release all remaining Israeli hostages, and Israel will still murder innocent Palestinian civilians on a regular basis, but at a slightly slower pace than we have been of late,” said Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, ratifying the accord that would temporarily promote the systematic discrimination, dehumanization, and persecution of the Palestinian people over their outright genocide. “Once the hostages are freed, we will dial down the attacks on Gaza hospitals, schools, and aid centers by roughly 10%, give or take. I have had my staff lay out a less rigorous schedule for committing atrocities, and in the down time, the IDF can alwa...

ICE Goes Undercover in Memphis An exclusive first look at their latest operation. Sep 17 Eddie Mulholland/Shutterstock MEMPHIS ( The Borowitz Report )—Abandoning their customary black vests and masks, ICE agents have gone undercover in Memphis, DHS Secretary Kristi Noem confirmed on Wednesday. Noem defended her department’s expenditure of $85,000 to outfit the agents in sequined jumpsuits, arguing that such a disguise was necessary for ICE to blend into the population inconspicuously. Issuing a stern warning to the city of Memphis, Noem declared, “If I see something that appears to be nothing but a hound dog, I will shoot it.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ our ducks here at EH know how to stay in shape.  herewith: drake #256 performing his daily pushup routine {n.b.: male, no fatties, no beard & no mascara} he's bucking for the Assistant Secretary of War  position Let's wish him duck! *************************** Yet another contribution to the proof that the Uni...