EH S2 E24: What happened to Jeffrey Epstein after his Bar Mitzvah? !!! SPECIAL EXCLUSIVE ISSUE WHICH CORROBORATES THE WALL STREET JOURNAL PIECE

 

The Coldplay Couple as Rendered by Edvard Munch


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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a bombshell report issued Monday, the Department of Justice said it has identified a man in a decades-old photograph of Jeffrey Epstein as former President Joe Biden.

The emergence of the Epstein-Biden photo has compelled the DOJ to open “a thorough investigation” into the ties between the two men, a Justice spokesperson said.

At the White House, Donald J. Trump said that the Epstein photo proved “Joe Biden’s crimes are even worse than Hunter’s.”

Asked whether he was confident in the accuracy of the DOJ’s identification of Biden, Trump said, “Come on—Pam Bondi’s on the case.”

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"Patriotic Items 75% off" ---- [frankly, we thought it would be higher]



the epstein files!



Canada Travel Advice


consider yourselves informed:




Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that many said was long overdue, on Thursday God formally notified House Speaker Mike Johnson that he was going to Hell.

In a rare public statement, the Almighty said that Johnson’s role in shepherding Donald J. Trump’s so-called “Big, Beautiful Bill” through the House was the “last straw” that sealed the Speaker’s eternal damnation.

“What do you do with someone who cuts Medicaid when 40 percent of his own constituents rely on it?” God asked. “You send his ass to Hell, that’s what.”

The Heavenly Father also questioned the bill’s allocation of $45 billion for a border wall, since the rest of the bill makes the U.S. someplace no one in their right mind would immigrate to.

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and in further news from down there, a note from Jimmy Swaggart, who died this week.  Rest in Peace, Jimmy Swaggart






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at the vet's office....
dogs and cats still prefer print
over internet for their pornography!
two pair of legs?  who knew....really?

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Roger Rosenblatt, part 2:


UUU

do not forget our overriding top mantra & inspiration from our founding 

intellectual, upon which we base everything we do

OUR DRIVING ETHOS

ほとんどの人は愚かだ

la madre degli idioti e sempre incinta

!معظم الناس أغبياء

ज़्यादातर लोग मूर्ख हैं

tá an chuid is mó daoine dúr!

більшість людей дурні!

la plupart des gens sont stupides!

die meisten Leute sind dumm!

la maggior parte delle persone è stupida!

большинство людей глупы!

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