EH S4 E7: special SUPER BOWEL edition

 

today in Journalism news from The Onion

‘Washington Post’ Publishes Editorial Defending FBI Raid On Its Reporter

Published:

January 15, 2026

WASHINGTON—Saying that despite recent events, it would do everything in its power to continue obscuring the truth, The Washington Post published an editorial Thursday defending the FBI’s recent raid on its reporter. “As journalists, we stand united behind the U.S. government’s decision to investigate our colleague Hannah Natanson, search her home, and seize several of her electronic devices,” read the piece, which was signed by the famed newspaper’s editorial board and outlined the many ways in which Natanson deserved to be punished for doing her job conducting investigative reporting into the Trump administration. “The Washington Post has a long history of groundbreaking journalism, and we invite FBI director Kash Patel to raid, arrest, or jail anyone involved with such efforts. In the United States, federal agents are born with certain unalienable rights. We cannot in good conscience allow our reporters to infringe upon that freedom.” At press time, the famed newspaper’s readership had reportedly skyrocketed after the editorial board called on President Donald Trump to publicly execute its entire staff.

Department of Health & Human Services public health survey: 

Do you....?

A: every morning wake up in a state of anxiety

B: every night fall asleep in a state of anxiety

C: spend all 24 hours of the day in a state of anxiety

Results of the survey will be published in the coming weeks.

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anthropic's latest: "meet claude our thinking partner"

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an heretical development on so many levels...  

Yes, as of January 2026, the iconic American hot dog brand Nathan’s Famous was acquired by Smithfield Foods in a $450 million all-cash deal. Smithfield Foods is a U.S.-based pork producer that is owned by the WH Group, a publicly traded Chinese meat and food processing company headquartered in Hong Kong. 

Key Details Regarding the Acquisition:

• Ownership Structure: Smithfield Foods was purchased by the WH Group in 2013.
• Relationship: Smithfield has been a long-time partner and supplier for Nathan’s, producing their hot dogs since 2014.
• Impact: The acquisition includes the brand, the famous July 4th hot dog eating contest, and the company's retail/foodservice operations.
• Reactions: The sale sparked concern among some U.S. officials regarding foreign ownership of food suppliers and national security. 

Despite the ownership change, Nathan's Famous operates as a subsidiary of the Chinese-owned WH Group. 

does this mean sunday dinner is chow mein takeout?

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go Italy !!

where's Japan?

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SHORT ATTENTION SPAN DEPARTMENT

i don't know about you, but every doctor and dentist of mine is under the impression that i am already in the memory unit at the senior assisted living home.  each and every upcoming doctors' appointment requires 24 (and sometimes 36) texts, emails, & phone messages to register: my name, date of birth, insurance account, my brother in law's blood type, and instructions to show up 15 minutes early for non-digital paperwork.  the next day my phone text inbox asks me to perform this same chore again.  

Our plan of action: we're going to code them all as spam, block them, and see what happens.  I hope i can remember to do that, tho'.  Maybe I'll set myself a reminder.

Modern 21st C medicine goes digital.  Here's ours:

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bad choice naming your new product line

[not good for sales]

a nobel prize and this....

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the publishing world's stats today

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so true, so true, JD...

Strange Bedfellows: Workout and Myanmar Coup

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what's that expression??? ----  a good reputation can take decades to establish and a week to lose.  ---welcome to the United States of America

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hey ma!  got it!

https://x.com/buitengebieden/status/2018716974407094404?s=20

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Greenland to Build Maximum-Security Prison for Pedophiles

Andy Borowitz Jan 21

READ IN APP

NUUK, GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—The government of Greenland announced on Wednesday that it had begun construction in its northernmost region of a maximum-security prison for pedophiles.

The prison, which will house “the worst of the worst,” is a joint venture between Greenland and the nations of the European Union.

A Greenlandic government spokesperson, Hartvig Dorkelson, said that the construction of the prison “should not be seen as an act of provocation,” adding, “The only person who could be offended by this would be a pedophile.”

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An Item on Clearance

the stadium doesn't make enough money....

it didn't sell even with a promise to make your face look like Tom Brady's

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do you remember there was always one of these kids at playground recess....?

....the one no one would play with.....you remember him, don't you?  he irritating everyone around him...and, derived pleasure from doing so.  he picked on the weaker ones. he bullied them....loving it. no one trusted him; no one would ever call him a friend.  Well folks, that's our president.  

you know we closely follow the automotive industry here at EH.  here is one of the ways our Homo sapiens defectivum is destroying America's manufacturing sector.

despite his anti-Chinese rhetoric, by imposing outrageously large tariffs, our "fearless leader" has impelled Canada & China to sign a major agreement to import large numbers of Chinese cars into the Provinces. ELDER HOSTILE wonders what the folks in Dearborn, Detroit, & Auburn Hills think of this.

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Monty P

(video)

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song du jour:

Disco Snails

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Morris Mishegoss--Ed

mishegossgroup@gmail.com

WE TELL THE TRUTH WHEN NOBODY ELSE DOES

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stay with ELDER HOSTILE to find out the denouement

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morris mishegoss, your faithful editor at ELDER HOSTILE