EH S5 E7: special prediction issue! Trump Will Die in His Sleep in a Cave with Bat Boy Next to Him !!!! Incredible news!!!!

 

                new yorker magazine cover....

                "out cold" by barry blitt


Getty Images

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a contest to determine the 2028 Republican presidential nominee, on Thursday Donald J. Trump ordered Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Vice President JD Vance to face off in a UFC cage match at the White House this weekend.

Trump decided to replace the traditional system of primaries and caucuses with a mixed martial arts competition because, as he told reporters, “Unlike elections, UFC fights are never rigged.”

“These are both tough guys,” he added. “Marco kidnapped Maduro, and JD killed the Pope.”

According to sources, Rubio’s first attempt at kickboxing went horribly awry Thursday morning when one of his oversized Florsheims flew off and hit Stephen Miller in the eye.

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as seen on a Viking Cruise ship 

(you know, the ones with 

"no children and no casinos")

ya gotta have fun some way


a le onion:

POLITICS

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ELDER HOSTILE has wrestled for years on where we come down on the following: are we a Zionist or an anti-Zionist leaning publication? certainly, jews will never reach a resolution on this question either way.

All EH can say, is "we now want our freekin' tree in the Israeli Bar Kochba Forest back that we bought in 1963."  That should tell you where we stand today.

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ELDER HOSTILE Puzzle Section  

($2 fee to print a paper copy, Venmo, Check or PayPal)


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well, I guess we ALL can assume that Trump will die in his sleep.  Pretty good odds, eh?.....   it could be day or night; are we taking bets on time of day?

(this, btw, is not the kind of exit ELDER HOSTILE had planned for him)



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alternative $250 bill design....



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TEXAS HIGHWAY NAMING

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perfidy of the week:

Israel halted strikes on Iran following a request from President Donald Trump, according to Israeli media. Iran also said it would cease attacks on Israel, but warned they would restart if Israel continued strikes against either Iran or Lebanon. Israel has also promised to resume air strikes if Hizbullah, an Iran-backed militia in Lebanon, continues to attack Israeli towns.  

wha? --Ed.

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a glimmer of hope dept


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Tim Snyder on American Foreign Policy in less than one minute
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DY4-7jZB_zO/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

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the first sentence of mr. goebbels quote is quite famous.  however, the 2nd sentence less so, but equally chilling, if not more.  
* see current takeover attempt



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aka Shit for Brains
Tommy Tuberbrain US Senator from Alabamie

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Final seconds of Game 4 Basketball Championship narrated by foreigners
The Knicks

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this, from a long time subscriber






[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]



Stephen Colbert

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h and keep repeatinlKeep an eye out for Rep Sarah McBridel

ventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie.

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie.




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Unsatisfied with EH?  want to cancel your subscription?







Franz Sherbert

Everybody Laughs

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Performance data shown represents past performance and is no guarantee of future results.

**********************************


                     


you know we lie to you better than anyone else
renew your subscription to ELDER HOSTILE today!

 +++++++++

do you want to know how the story ends?  


we do and we know! 

admit it, haven't we been spot on so far?

stay with ELDER HOSTILE to find out 


***********

to subjugate, submarine, subsume, subsist, sublimate, subtract or subscribe, just send an email to:
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you may unsubscribe at any time & must agree to our terms that if the big one drops, your subscription will get canceled automatically and no refunds will be issued

Remember our famous PWT motto by which we operate 24/7:

"Most people are stupid!"

morris mishegoss, your faithful editor at ELDER HOSTILE
 
               






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